Quick shout-out to the Merriam-Webster word of the day for August 1, 2021 – pulchritude.
English has a large number of words – for any number of reasons that I won’t go on about here. “Pulchritude” comes into the language via the Latin adjective “pulcher” which means “beautiful.”
The “ch” is pronounced as a “k”/”hard c” – so it was both a new word for me, and kind of a “harsh” sounding word for “beautiful”/comeliness
Visibility … and beauty
If we want to pick some nits – then “beauty” and/or “comeliness” don’t always equal “attraction” (especially “sexual attraction” in human beings)
e.g. imagine a set of portraits/pictures of people of varying “beauty.” Then imagine that the pictures fall into three general categories – at one end are “extremely physically beautiful” people at the other end the “extremely physically ugly” – and in the middle something “in between” (whatever you want to call that group – “average”/”normal”/whatever).
Then imagine we ask a sufficiently large group of people to arrange the pictures from one extreme to the other. There would be some variance within the categories, but IN GENERAL people would arrange the pictures into the same three general categories.
Everyone (well, a theoretical “statistical everybody” – but not 100%) would agree that one group is “extremely good looking” that another group was “extremely bad looking” and then there is a group in between.
SO there can be said to be an societally accepted objective perception of beauty (there is a classic Twilight Zone episode that illustrates what I’m on about).
Obviously those standards tend to change over time – but it has tended to be mostly in the “body” that the perception of beauty has changed. e.g. a “pretty face” back in 1800 would still be considered a “pretty face” today, but the “beautiful body” in 1800 would probably be considered “plump” today.
Same idea with modern cultural differences – with the “western world” having a different (thinner, more athletic) perception of “female body beauty” than the “eastern world” – but that isn’t the point I’m going for today.
Visibility … and Attractiveness
Ok, so we have our sorted group of pictures. Now we might ask participants which group they would place themselves. Which would (probably) give us a clue as to what that person finds “physically attractive.”
BUT human beings are complex emotional beings – so asking our imaginary participants to arrange the groups according to “dating/relationship” potential becomes interesting.
That is “interesting” as in “not predictable” – this is where individual life experience becomes a factor. To cut to the chase – “fidelity” becomes a lurking variable.
Make eye contact, smile …
I could comment further on the “fidelity” thing – but it is probably a “two drink” discussion 😉 – so we are moving on
Imagine you walk into a “social gathering of people” and don’t recognize anyone. If you want to meet new people and/or “network” then try to make eye contact with folks, and then smile. If they smile back – then head in their direction.
Of course if you don’t want to be there in the first place, and want to avoid meeting anyone, then avoid eye contact at all cost, and if you accidently make eye contact – frown and look away quickly.
Oh, and if you make eye contact and smile – and the other person runs away screaming (and then they gather the townsfolk with pitchforks and torches and start yelling “kill the monster!”) – you might be at the wrong “social gathering” — c’est la vie
Connections …
The underlying “non verbal communication” with the “eye contact THEN smile” is simply that “eye contact” means they “see” you and the “smile” means they “accept you” in some form.
Obviously the “smile” needs to be interpreted as well – i.e. a short smile, and quick head turn is also a “leave me alone” gesture (but not an outright “go away”).
A larger smile and holding eye contact for a short time might be the equivalent of “Hi, we don’t know each other but come on ever and join the conversation.”
A big smile, laugh, and a head-nod might equal “the party is over here – everyone is welcome.”
Then you have that rom com/musical/mythical “Some Enchanted Evening” moment – where two people “find each other” – umm, which works best if the two happen to share the same value system, but moving on …
All of these are examples of the basic human need/desire to be “truly visible” to some extent. i.e. the idea that “we ‘see’ each other and ‘approve’/’enjoy’/’appreciate’/value what we ‘see’”
Note that this doesn’t have to be a “sexual”/romantic concept – imagine the feeling of relief when you are at that gathering (where you don’t recognize anyone) and you see an “old friend” who is happy to see you and eagerly greets you …
Purpose …
I am a long time “amateur photographer” – I get the urge to “go take pictures” every once in a while. I have noticed that as I’ve become “more experienced” that urge to “go take pics” comes less and less often. Which is probably normal with any “hobby”
ANYWAY, in an online forum the question came up about the “need” to publicly post photographs. For me the answer is “it depends” on “why” you took the pics.
Did you take the pics to share an experience? then posting them online is an easy way to accomplish that purpose.
Maybe it is like asking a “chef” if they NEED someone to eat the meal they just prepared. At one level, it doesn’t matter to the “chef” one way or the other, but still there is a need to be “appreciated” (“visible”) and have a “productive purpose.”
I imagine there is someone out there that might spend all day preparing a meal – and then throw the meal away, untasted, untouched, unappreciated – but I also imagine that person as being profoundly unhappy
Back to the online photos – IF the photographer is proud of the work they have done, then publicly posting thee pics shouldn’t negatively impact the photographer.
Maybe the concept I’m going for is in Kipling’s “If”
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/46473/if—
i.e. “external approval” is always nice but never “necessary” to your “happiness”
Those wacky Greeks
To the “ancient Greeks” the ultimate “ironic punishment” probably included a sense of “pointlessness” – Sisyphus comes to mind, and I tend to agree – e.g. the Japanese proverb:
“Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare”
… but I could always be wrong
I really need a signature block. Also need to take a “self portrait” this week —
— Les Cameron
contact me: les@clancameron.us